How vulnerable are you willing to be? Does it depend on the situation, the content of the reveal, or the people you are with? Why?
Most of us are afraid to be vulnerable, at least in some capacity, and it makes sense because vulnerability — by definition — exposes you to being harmed, physically or emotionally. Nobody wants to be hurt so why take the risk?
In her enormously popular TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability,” Brené Brown says that we all carry shame, it’s a universal feeling for everyone except those who have no capacity for empathy.
“No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this ‘I’m not good enough,’ — which, we all know that feeling… The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability. This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen,” Brown asserts.
Think about your favorite band. Now think about the person who told you how much they don’t like them. Yet every concert you went to was sold out, every album you purchased was bought by many others, every Youtube video you watch has been viewed thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions of times. Your favorite musical artist is not universally loved yet they make music, tour, record songs, put themselves and their work out there. Those who want it will enjoy it and those who don’t want it won’t. It’s the artist’s job to create and when they do so they do it knowing that these pieces of themselves they cast into the world will be ridiculed and mocked, as much or more than they will be loved. Yet they do the work, hoping that their work will find its way to the people who can love it.
We all navigate wanting to be seen while wanting to remain invisible — know me without my having to expose my insecurities or confront my own fears — though we know the reward only comes from putting ourselves out there, allowing the thing we fear the most to see the light of day.
Imposter syndrome isn’t unique to you. Everyone feels like a fraud ready to be discovered and exposed. All of us think everyone but us knows what they’re doing. The truth is nobody knows what they’re doing, not really. We’re all just making our way through things the best we can, learning along the way and trying to project confidence that we have it all figured out.
Here’s the thing, I can tell you how flawed I am, how I procrastinate getting my presentation ready right up to the last minute, how I get nervous when a client asks me a question I don’t know the answer to. I can tell you that whenever I encounter someone who does anything along the lines of what I do, I always think they’re amazing — wishing I were even half as good as they are — and when I say these things to you my bet is that you want to encourage me, support me, push back on my insecurities and assure me that I am good enough, worth enough, and better than I think.
BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT BEING VULNERABLE DOES TO PEOPLE… it draws a straight line between you and me, connecting us because of the innate understanding that all of us are afraid and none of us want people to sit in that fear. When you create anything you do so because you’re afraid, knowing that somewhere, someone, is waiting to witness your fear. This allows them to see themselves in another person and feel less alone, less afraid, and more connected. That is your job and obligation as a creator, a businessperson, an artist, a human being — be authentic even though it scares you. You will not regret it.
Meet Christina Aldan for the first time and you will feel as if you have known her all your life. she is proof that you can Create Your Luck with perseverance and a desire to learn.