The Life You Want

The Life You Want

The Life You Want


Things happen to you and within the world you live in that are out of your control. That’s a fact. If you are looking for an excuse, this fact gives you one that is built-in and ready to use at all times. On the other hand, if what you desire is a shift in your life/work/business/relationships or all of the above then it might require a shift in perspective. 

I say this for myself as much as anyone reading this blog post, creating your own luck —rising to the occasion of your life— isn’t something that just happens. It requires determination and a dedicated will to make the things you want in your life show up. 

I am certainly no expert at manifesting all of the things a person might want in their life but I have experienced enough of the good magic to know there is something to it. By sharing what I believe to be true, perhaps you might recognize a worthwhile reminder that the life you want might be closer to being realized than you think. 

To anyone who knows me well, it is no secret that I have lived with trauma and grief for as long as I can remember, even when I didn’t realize the extent of what I was navigating. Often, we allow those things to swallow us up. It’s a coping mechanism —disassociating from the things that have harmed us, wounded us, shaken us, so they don’t destroy us. Coping is defined as:

dealing effectively with something difficult.

This sounds pretty damn awesome to me because I certainly want to be effective at navigating the monsters that haunt my life so I can triumph. 

I have triumphed. I have overcome a lot and I often forget the victories because my attention is so easily taken by the demons that wrestle it in their direction. I have learned that it is important to spread my time and focus more evenly rather than focusing my attention on the demons all the time. This gives my successes their well-deserved gratitude. It serves to remind me that I am a badass who can overcome challenges just as much as it puts the things I grapple with into perspective that their time is coming to an end. The evidence becomes overwhelming that I will win. 

Here are a few tips you might find helpful. 

  1. Get into therapy. Don’t hesitate. Don’t wait for the right set of circumstances. Don’t deny yourself the ingredient you need to taste the beautiful life you deserve. Therapy has literally saved my life. I don’t like that I need someone else to help me navigate my life. I want to be autonomous and do it myself but the helping hand of someone who is trained to guide you toward answers you may never find is a gift you can give yourself. Take it and run with it. You will not regret it. 
  2. Focus your attention on the life you want and be open to receiving a life you never imagined. I have always been a hustler, willing to put in the work to achieve whatever I was after. Sometimes, I had a pretty narrow definition of what a great life would look like. It didn’t look traditional — suburban mom with kids that need shuttling from here to there — but life can surprise you. The life I have is better than the life I was chasing. I have more blessings than I can count and I have beautiful people, including my life partner and children, who love me even when I don’t feel worthy. 
  3. Give back, pay it forward, be the mentor you wish you had. Like most of you, I struggle with my own self-worth but I am still able to recognize areas in which I have grown, learned, and achieved. In short, it means I do have something to offer, so I offer it. I love to find mentees who might benefit from my experience. When they seek me out I invite them into my life, my business, my world. By giving to others, I learn more about myself and I build my self-worth up so the voices inside my head that argue in favor of imposter syndrome get quieter. 

Those are just a few things that work for me. I find them all to be magical, helping me build a life that is still challenging but filled with wonder and love. I would not wish my challenges on anyone but if I could give you a bit of the wonder and love it would change your life. It saved mine and I know your life can be more than you imagine.  

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