As a Financial Advisor, I have come to ONE universal conclusion for all of my clients and myself, our most valuable asset as human beings is: time.
Most of us are spinning our wheels, moving from one thing to the next at breakneck speed. I’d like to invite you to pause. When the dust settles and you allow yourself time to reflect on what is truly important to you, ask yourself, are you spending enough time in areas where your true joy resides? Most of us are not, myself included. For me, it was an issue even bigger than my time management. When I made the choice to prioritize working on myself, I was not in the correct mental space to fully enjoy and immerse myself in the moment.
I personally believe very strongly in the 7 Laws of Attraction. That is, the belief that the energy you put into the universe will come back to you. This is referred to as the Universal Law of Influence. However, the Universal Law of Magnetism informs us that when your thoughts are negative and dark, and you might start attracting clients, partners, friends, and circumstances that correspond with negativity and darkness. It is very hard to see the light and the purpose of you being in that specific moment and why. Having hit bottom, I decided to engage in Emotional Intelligence (EI) training.
Emotional Intelligence training has helped me realize that working on your mental health is just as important as time with loved ones, and working on your physical health. I was the stereotypical male who shrugged-off mental health whenever it was brought up. Afterall, “My grandfather and father have never complained about their mental health, why should I?” I never heard them complain about their feelings. If someone said something you didn’t appreciate, you handled it with obnoxious language (or worse).
Until I experienced my own struggles with mental health, I didn’t see a need to develop coping skills – then one day it all changed for me and I was enlightened through hardships. Unable to process my grief to the fullest extent, I was not myself. I was angry all the time. Every day I woke up angry. Every night I went to sleep angry. My nervous system was so wound up, that if one thing didn’t go my way, or someone said something I didn’t agree with, then I would automatically jump into confrontations. For years, I was a mess.
How does someone grow if they are not willing to listen and learn from others?
I quickly knew something needed to change and EI training was that necessary change. My coach, Christina Aldan, helped me rediscover empathy that I thought was lost forever from past traumas; To be able to walk into situations with Grace and Compassion instead of fear and projected insecurities. To meet resistance with empathy takes a lot of practice a lot, a lot. You revisit all those messages adults used to tell us when we were children. Statements such as:
“Take a deep breath.”
“Count to 10.”
…and on and on…well guess what? As an adult, 10 seconds just isn’t long enough to calm down, dammit! What worked for me was to truly make it a point to stop and think in the middle of conversations even if it made it feel awkward for a second) to allow myself to think before I speak, rather than blurt out the first thing my primitive emotions can conjure. I learned communication skills that turned my relationships around in just a few months. And I’m talking, relationships that I was on the way to burning into the ground. Within my first coaching session I noticed a difference and after that, any remaining skepticism and cynicism about mental health flew out the door. Taking time to write, meditate, reflect on conversations that upset me and how to address them differently moving forward shifted my mindset, which is noticeable by those around me. Bringing more awareness to my emotions allows me to truly feel the process throughout. This means I spend less time blaming others for my circumstances and more time visualizing how I can change my own circumstances.
Is one hour a month worth the ability to walk into any situation with grace and compassion? The answer is for me is an emphatic, “YES!” It takes work and lots of practice but you can overcome emotions that you feel have complete control of your actions with proper training and coaching.
In my industry, people are very protective with their money and do not want to invest with an advisor. They want to do it themselves. They are DIY clients. A reminder I present to my DIY clients is that even Michael Jordan had a coach his entire career. It doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion –or in this case, an industry expert– to help you see things that you cannot see yourself because your vision is clouded.
However, clouds are never permanent and you can always strive for better.
If you want to learn more about my experience with my coach, you can send me a message on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davewhall.
Meet Christina Aldan for the first time and you will feel as if you have known her all your life. she is proof that you can Create Your Luck with perseverance and a desire to learn.